6 Weeks

Our sweet boy is 6 weeks old and is doing pretty well. On Thursday the Dr. happily pronounced Keller's team meeting a boring one. Kell is doing well on his hi flow nasal cannula, he's handling his feeds well (up to 28 extra calories per feeding, off continual feeds, now gets 30 mls over the course of an hour every 3 hrs), he's gaining weight ( 3lbs. 5 oz.), and had his first visit from the ophthalmologist. I was actually here for Keller's first eye appointment on Wednesday. The ophthalmologist was very nice and explained that Keller is at risk for having retinopathy of prematurity (ROP) which is where the development of the retina is disturbed. He will be back to check the growth of the blood vessels that are supposed to grow in the retina every two weeks. Preemies can have abnormal blood vessel growth which can cause scarring and damage to the retina which can worse case scenario cause detachment of the retina and blindness. After Keller's eye check up the ophthalmologist said that so far there wasn't any sign of ROP so far and we are praying that he won't develop it.

 

On Wednesday I had my 6 week check up with Dr. Walker, he commented on how he couldn't believe it had already been 6 weeks. I laughed and said that it felt like a lifetime ago that I had the twins instead of mere weeks. My sense of time is all messed up. My life is now divided into mini segments that all feel like lifetimes of their own. My life pre-pregnancy as a full time working mommy with two crazy, fun little boys; my life pregnant with gasp...twins!; my life as a patient at Evergreen praying to hold off on delivery as long as possible; my life in the OR delivering two micro-preemies at 25 weeks & 2 days; my life as mother of four with micro-preemie twins in the NICU; my life mother of ? (3 earthly & 1 heavenly? or still 4 or 3 or ?) with one micro-preemie in the NICU. I wonder if my sense of time will return one day or if this period in my life will always be chopped up...something else to add to the wait and see list.





Keller's First Bath

I got to give Keller his first bath on Thursday. It was terrifyingly awesome! When his bath was planned I had envisioned the nurse giving the bath while I took pictures. I never dreamed that I would be the bather, but I was handed one naked little Keller wrapped in a warm blanket ready to go. My heart was pumping out of my chest, but the nurse just kept encouraging me and we made it through!  I had to gently rock Kell down into the little tub until his bottom was on the floor of the tub. I then opened his blanket and washed him. Upon turning him over to wash his backside I realized that he now is the proud owner of two real butt cheeks! No longer does his have the sad little flat thing, he's on his way to a nice little booty! Kell enjoyed his bath and was making the cutest ooh face throughout the whole thing. After the bath the nurse dried him off, diapered him, and then handed him back to me for some mama cuddle time. I am excited for Micah to share this experience with us next time.

 

Daddy's First Hold

 

Micah held Kell for the first time yesterday. I loved seeing the two of them together! Keller cuddled with Micah for 3 hours and spent quite a while just gazing up at his Daddy with such love in his little eyes. It was incredibly healing for me just seeing the two of them together. The experience was a mixed bag for Micah. Hard to be holding Kell knowing he couldn't hold Sky, but also nice to be able to bond with his sweet little guy. They had a fabulous reunion today for about an hour and it was much easier for Micah to hold him today. I think every time it will get easier and easier.

 

Gray and Ash are overall doing pretty well. Gray has his moments (like the rest of us) where he's sad and cries, but thankfully for the most part he's a regular resilient kid. Each night at dinner we get the run down on his day at school complete with the number of times he gets to see Mrs. Piper (his teacher from last year) to say hi or get a hug. Hearing him talk about how he looks forward to seeing her reminds me of why I became a teacher myself. Teachers have such an incredible impact on kids and its so amazing to watch those relationships as a parent. All of his friends have been great too. Micah and I so greatly appreciate the conversations that must have gone on at home to help the other kids be prepared to see Grayson for the first time and how to relate to him. He feels like his regular self with them and that's exactly what he wanted.

 

Asher is his fabulous crazy little self. He loves his new school, but often asks when he can go visit Kathy's to see his friends. His preschool teacher reported that he is very social and has adjusted well. He's really in to telling stories to anyone who will listen. They are crazy stories about a sandwich eating T-Rex or alien visits. He usually ends then with, "That's my story. What's your story?" this is his way of asking about your day and not an imaginary story like his. This is also very confusing time for Ash. He asks me several times a day if I remember when mommy and daddy were holding baby Skyler and crying. He also is curious where the other baby went when we enter Keller's room each day. He holds two of his little fingers up and tells me that we're supposed to have two babies. I remind him that Sky is up in Heaven with Jesus. Sometimes he accepts this and then he moves on to what snacks he wants out of the mini fridge in Kell's room other times he asks if Sky is really up in Heaven with Jesus or if he still in the other room under the blanket. Such heartbreaking things to talk about with your four year old.

         

 

Micah and I are making our way through this journey one step at a time. We have our moments...good ones and not so good ones. Our hearts feel like there is a Sky sized hole in them and we're not sure how that hole will heal. It's nice to know that God's got it. He has all of it and is carrying us through.

 

Thanks so much for all of your love and support we greatly appreciate it!

 

Lots of Love,

Shelly